I Can Feel You
by Senorita Cumberbatch
Summary: How season one should have ended. Nathan touching Audrey. Oneshot.


A/N: This one-shot is for prettybutt on tumblr. She asked me to write her a Nathan/Audrey fanfic and I thought no better chance to write how I think season one should have ended.

Enjoy!

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><p>He had said it. A secret he's kept to himself for quite some time was finally said. He both anticipated and dreaded the day he had to tell Audrey this. What would she think of him now? All the times that he'd initiate the first handshake or a high five, he took those small moments to feel her touch. Memorize it. Feel <em>alive <em>again. And he begun to notice more of Audrey as not just a source to feel again.

He saw her fully as this beautiful, smart, brave woman that, yes, he _can_ feel and want to touch but only because it was _her,_Audrey Parker. Audrey had become so much more to him then he had ever realized. What if she believed him to be just using her to feel again? Taking advantage of their friendship for his benefit? Would she leave? That frightened Nathan on the inside. He needed her, just her as a person by his side.

With his father, the Chief, gone and left alone, he needed someone he can trust by his side. She is a source of comfort in this hectic and surreal town he called home. If she left…he wouldn't know how to go back to his isolated self anymore. He didn't want to go back to being alone anymore.

"Is it back?" she asked, an eyebrow raised and a slight hopeful look in her eyes. He can lie to her. He contemplated that idea for a moment. It would preserve their friendship and he can continue to feel her without her leaving him. But he wouldn't go through with such a thing. She had a right to know this…even if this might tear them apart.

"No. I can _only_ feel you." he emphasized. Her mouth parted and her blue eyes widened in shock. The truth was out in the open and silence hung between the two. Rapid thoughts of what she would do next ran through Nathan's mind. A sense of panic coiled inside him, but he kept his face steeled and calm.

But her hand rose, slowly and hesitant, her finger tips brushed his cheek. He inhaled and closed his eyes, relishing in her small touch. She seemed hesitant to continue, perhaps shocked that he was reacting in this way. She traced a circle on his cheek, Nathan's cheeks developed a certain pink tint to them. She pressed her palm to his cheek and he placed his hand over hers, leaning into her touch.

"How long have you known?" she asked. She didn't sound mad, as he had anticipated, but curious.

"For a while." he said and slipped his fingers with hers. She stared at his hands trailing her knuckles, he was completely mesmerized by her soft skin and the shape of her hands. He didn't notice Audrey shiver slightly being touched by him and smiling softly. He stopped at her wrist and lifted his gaze to hers. Nathan raised his hand, his fingers hovering her cheek. his eyebrows scrunched togehter, an internal debate inside his mind.

He wanted to touch her more, he never wanted anything this badly before in his life. But what if she didn't want to be touched? Audrey stared into Nathan's eyes, blinked, and then tilted her head so his fingers touched her. She was allowing him to continue. He traced his finger on her jawline, one ear to the other slowly. Audrey closed her eyes. Was she enjoying this as much as he was? He ran his fingers through her blonde hair, his palm on the back of her head.

"Audrey." he whispered and before he can think further on the possible consequences of his next action, he pulled her in. He wrapped his arm around her thin waist and pressed her body to his. She gasped at the sudden action and he almost did as well, but it was because of the new wave of sensations his body had received from the sudden hug.

Body heat emanated off her and his body greedily absorbed it for itself. He can feel her breath through his shirt. Having years of not feeling anything, not even his own skin…the sensations felt new to him every time. He buried his nose in her blonde hair, smelling the lavender shampoo she always used. Never had such an odor intoxicate him like this. And he clung to her, almost like a desperate man. But reality had a funny way of sneaking up on you, like right now for instance.

_'Oh god what have I done?'_ he thought. As much as he simply loved touching her, there had to be a limit and he was probably pushing it. Doing this would blur the lines of their relationship of friendship and being partners. Plus Audrey is an independent woman who had never seemed like the touchy kind (neither was he but that changed).

She grew up hardening herself to withstand relying on others and had allowed only one person in her life to matter. He was clearly taking advantage of her. Her trust and their friendship. Here Nathan is risking losing Audrey just because he indulged himself in feeling her. Just as he was about to snake his arm away, she pulled in closer. Her head rested over his chest and her arms wrapped around him. She wasn't rejecting him.

"Audrey I-" he started.

"It's ok Nathan." she said. Resting his hands on her shoulders, Nathan pulled her away. For a brief second he could have sworn he caught a glimpse of hurt in her eyes. But it had to be his mind playing tricks on him, drunk on the sensations only she brought him.

"But I don't want to take advantage of you." he said softly and looked away, ashamed of himself. Next came a sudden push, he looked down to see that it was Audrey hugging him once again. Nathan was too shocked to push her away, not that his body would comply to such a thing anyway. She tiptoed so her mouth was by his jaw and he gasped at the tingles he got by her hot breath.

"Nathan Wuornos, you know that I can kick any man's ass and even yours. If you were taking advantage of me, you wouldn't be standing." she whispered, a slight laughter in her voice. He chuckled, that was the Audrey he knew and cared for. But his arms stayed by his side.

"I don't doubt your abilities. But is it ok for you? Ok for me to touch you?" he asked. He needed to know this. This could either break what they have or make something new. Audrey was silent and she puled back. Nathan's heart nearly broke right there, but he saw her smile and put a hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently.

"So long as you don't mind me touching you?"

Nathan cracked a genuine smile, one he'd only shown to only a few but mostly toward her. This woman had changed his life so significantly and had given him so much.

"I think I can handle that." Nathan Wuornos never felt so lucky until Audrey Parker came into his life.


End file.
